So tonight, almost as I type this, my mother — all four foot eleven inches, 102 pounds of her — is going to The ‘Range.
A few weeks ago, sometime around the beginning of September, my mom joined the “Citizen’s Police Academy” in our hometown of Euclid, OH. The Citizens’ Academy is an eleven week program designed to give participants a working knowledge of the Euclid Police Department and its operational methods. She’s about six to eight weeks into the course now and, so far, it’s been mostly lectures and guest speakers. Which kinda bums her out.
Y’see, tonight is the night she’s been waiting for. Tonight, she goes to the ‘range. (She’s even started talking like she’s already a police officer and is using all the “hip cop lingo.” Like “The ‘Range.”) Ever since she signed up for the course, she’s been SUPER excited to shoot a gun. That’s all she’s been talking about. “Can’t wait ’til week eight, when we go to The ‘Range.” “I’ve always wanted to shoot a gun!” ‘Gun gun gun.” “‘Range ‘range ‘range.”
It’s actually a bit frightening.
At least she’s stopped — or, at least, I hope she’s stopped — referring to the “Drivealong” as a “Driveby.”