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This past week held one of my favorite days of the year: the first day of Fall! Not that you could tell. Eighty-seven degrees, Jesus Christ.
Anyway, I love Fall; y’know, for those two weeks a year when it actually feels like Fall. It’s my favorite season of the year. Just about everything I love happens in the Fall:
Apple-picking, apple pie, apple cider, pumpkin-picking, pumpkin-carving, pumpkin pie, turkey, Thanksgiving, Fall beers, it’s finally cold enough to start wearing a hoodie but still warm enough to wear shorts, hay rides and corn mazes, haunted houses, It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, colorful leaves, bon fires on cold nights, and Halloween costume parties.
Speaking of Halloween parties, I just received an invite to a friend’s party. She throws the best Halloween parties, so I’m pretty excited.
Now I just need to make a kick-ass costume.
I had a great idea for an awesome M.O.D.O.K. costume, but none of my comic book nerd friends will be at the party so I don’t think anyone will get the reference. And I don’t really want to have to explain my costume all night long. (All ni-ight.)
I have an idea in mind for what I’m going to do, but I don’t want to spill anything here just yet. But I’ll give you a hint: it starts with “D” and rhymes with “drag.”
So what about you guys? What are your plans for Halloween? Hitting up any parties? What costumes are you considering? Do you have any costume ideas for me? What would you like to see me dress up as? Let me know! I’m up for just about anything.
Trick or treat, smell my feet,
I swear, my sister and I are going to inherit a brazillion of these things someday.
The witch doctor,
Hello boys and girls,
I’m afraid I have some bad news to share with you today. Or good news, I suppose, depending on your personal opinions of myself.
This has been a decision I’ve wrestled with all year and – after weighing and reweighing all of my options – I keep coming up with Cleveland as my answer.
Over the past several years, most of my close friends have either moved out of Columbus, out of Ohio, and even the United States itself. And, aside from a few friends and acquaintances – all of whom I love dearly – and a job I’ve held and thoroughly enjoyed for the past nine years, without my core group of friends, this city just doesn’t feel like home anymore.
Which is a shame because, over the ten years I’ve lived here, Columbus has been the place I felt the most at home.
To be honest with you, after the first of my friends departed, I started thinking about moving to a new city, too. But no matter where I thought about going – Chicago, Milwaukee, or Portland – I still couldn’t afford to blindly move there without a job or apartment already lined up.
Which is where Cleveland came in.
As some of you may know, my grandfather died earlier this year. Well, his house has remained in our family, although vacant. And, in approximately seventy days, I’ll be moving into his house. It’s an opportunity I can’t pass up.
I’ll have a house, an entire house, to myself. And a backyard for the pup. A garden. An attached garage. A home office. A guestroom. Two kitchens (’cause, y’know, Italians like to cook). A basement. A party room in the basement. A bar in the party room in the basement. A full bar in the party room in the basement. And the taxes, insurance, and utilities I’ll be paying on the house are still less than what I’m paying for rent every month right now.
Of course, there are a few cons to the move.
Like moving a hundred and fifty miles away from Columbus. Like moving within a five mile radius of my parents. Living in an entire house means having an entire house to clean and keep clean. Yardwork. *shudder* Having to find a new job.
Y’know, when I moved out of Cleveland ten years ago, I never really thought I’d move back. But, it’s like that old saying, “You have to leave to come back.” Which I always thought was one of those bullshit common sense things. Like, “If you jump in a lake, you’ll get wet,” or “Don’t touch the stove, ’cause…” You get the idea. Of course you have to leave to come back. You can’t come back if you’re already there.
But I digress…
This may be goodbye, but not for too long.
I still have many beloved friends in Columbus – and there are a couple of comic conventions in the area – that’ll bring me back a few times a year.
And, if any of my Columbus friends happen to be in the Cleveland area, my door is always open. Unless it’s closed, and then you knock. Better yet, just call ahead and let me know you’re comin’ up. Might be a little awkward if you just show up on my doorstep outta the blue like that.
So, this morning, I was sitting at home, watching a movie – Gus Van Sant’s Milk – and working on a script outline, when a big brown UPS truck pulled up outside my apartment building. Well, the pup went absolutely apeshit – like she usually does whenever she looks out the window and see another dog being walked, kids playing outside, squirrels running around… leaves blowing against the window…
Anyway, the UPS guy walked up the path to my apartment and rang my doorbell. The pup jumping against the door, barking and howling.
Yeah, she can be a little neurotic.
I opened the door, just a crack, and peeked out. The UPS guy, wanting to leave the loud apartment as soon as humanly possible, slid a large thin envelop into my hand. I anxiously shut the door, ripping off the top of the package, excited to get at what I was pretty sure was inside.
I dumped the contents out onto my coffee table. This is what was inside:
That’s right, bitches. I am a professional comic creator and I’m getting into the New York Comic Con for free!
(Now I just have to work up the nerve to talk to some editors while I’m there and somehow trick them into publishing my book.)
I’m so excited! And I just can’t hide it! I’m about to lose control and I think I like it!
Doin’ a lil’ dance,
World, I give you Frank and Zombie Frank:
Anyway, on his deviantART page yesterday, he wrote:
“So since I’m having soooooo much fun drawing Zombies I’ve decided to do a book of zombie pinups/portraits. It’s going to be full color and big (I’m thinking 11×17 spiral bound) I’m going to try to produce 40 of them (which makes for an 80pg book) And I will have it available at cons this year.
so I need people to contribute pictures.
What you get – a free zombification portrait
What I get – real people and practice…
note me, message me, or email me at email@example.com
Tell ‘im Frank sent you and he’ll hook you up with some free brains.
We are Sexatar!
…I posted a picture of the new pet grooming place that moved into the shopping plaza across from my apartment, Doggy Styles.
Well, recently, a new company has moved into the same plaza, iForce. Basically, they’re a temp agency, only, y’know, they do it forcefully.
“iForce Doggy Styles.”
That just sounds illegal.
So I’ve been finding myself on the book shelf more and more lately.
No, I haven’t had any of my books published — yet — but I do seem to be on multiple book covers. Or, rather, someone who looks like me.
For the past year, I’ve been teased — rightfully so, I might add — about a teen book by Josh Lieb, called I’m a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to be Your Class President, mostly because A) the kid on the front cover — at least from the nose down — looks exactly like I did at that age: fat, nerdy, pissed off, and ready to take over the world; and 2) I mean, read that title. Isn’t that something you’d expect to hear from me?
Anyway, walking through Barnes & Noble the other day, I came across another book that took the Frank look-alike concept to an entirely creepy level.
Written and drawn by Japanese Manga artist Shunju Aono, I’ll Give It My All… Tomorrow is the story Shizuo Oguro, a 40-year old complete waste of a human life who breaks free from the corporate rat race and charts himself a fairly random and new career course: to become a published manga artist. Sure, he lacks the talent, discipline, or any other skill necessary to become a success in the manga industry—but that’s not enough to stop Shizuo!
First of all: chills.
OK, sure, I may not be 40 yet — still got a good dozen years or so before reaching the peak of that hill — but, a dude who who fails at everything and then decides that — out of the blue — he’s just going to be a comic book creator… and is destined to fail at that, too?
God, who does that sound like?
“Hey,” you say. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Frank. You’re nothing like that. That guy could be anyone.”
And, to you, I say: “Oh, yeah? Well, check out the cover of I’ll Give It My All… Tomorrow!”
It’s fat, ugly, lazy, Japanese ME!!!
Don’t believe me? Here’s further proof.
I, too, want to make comics:
Most of my work is autobiographical (Yes, even the one with the gay space pirate. Especially the one with the gay space pirate…):
And have been rejected numerous times:
I sweat a lot, for no reason whatsoever:
And I often sit at home, drinking beers in my underwear:
Good God, I think the Japanese are spying on me!
Giving it my all… today, so the Japanese don’t finish writing my life story before I do.
It’s time for a game I like to call “Buy My Friends’ Book!”
So about this time last year, my good friend Justin Shady and his sister Beth co-wrote a children’s book called “I Beg Your Pardon: The Tale of a Jerky Turkey,” illustrated by the incredible Marla Campbell!
Sadly, due to the publisher cancelling the book, like, just before it was to go to print, “I Beg Your Pardon: The Tale of a Jerky Turkey” never saw the light of day.
“I Beg Your Pardon: The Tale of a Jerky Turkey” — the story of a jerky turkey named Sage who comes beak-to-beak with his own mortality as Thanksgiving fast approaches — is finally available for purchase through Lulu for only $14.00!
Order your copy here!
Looks delicious, guys!