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Hey kids,

So, yeah, as the title of this post suggests, I just did something that has the potential to be either really stupid or exceptionally awesome.

I took edited and retitled an old short story — Rhetorical, now called At A Loss For Words: The Frank Cvetkovic Story — and just emailed it off to McSweeney’s.  Ack!

This has been something that I’ve been wanting to do for a while now, but have been so apprehensive about doing so I just kept putting it off.  I mean, their submission guidelines are more clever than 90% of the shit I’ve written!

I wrote up the submission email, freaked out, decided not to send it, then — in the heat of the moment — said “fuck it!” and hit send.

So maybe they’ll publish it.  Maybe they won’t.  Time will tell.

Trying to figure out how to slip a twenty dollar bribe into an email,
Frankie

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Dear readers,

Over the weekend, I was faced with a few personal problems that seemed to hold no foreseeable solutions.  After losing my faith in G-d and religion years ago, I decided to take one last stab-in-the-dark at believing.  So I asked myself:  What, in fact, would Jesus do?

And, as quickly as I asked, I received my answer.

Following in Jesus’ footsteps, I rebelled and deconstructed the established religion and created a new one based on the sole worship of myself.

That’s right, kids:  Frankianity is here!

Don’t worry about feeling obligated to donate money to the Church of Frank; membership dues are mandatory, so there’s no reason to feel guilty about not donating!  Congregation members get an autographed Frankianity Bible at 25% off sticker price!  Don’t like stale communion wafers?  Ours are made of chocolate!  (Cute) Ladies drink for free on Thursdays (Uggos still have to pay.)!  Never have to worry about standing, sitting and kneeling again; everyone kneels before Frank!

Christianity is old and boring.  Judaism would have you cut off parts of your anatomy.  Hindus don’t eat steak!  What’s up with that?  Mormonism is creepy!  Scientology is weird and fake!  Join the Church of Frank today!

Frankianity:  You may not be saved – and we will take your money – but at least we’re not claiming otherwise!

Your friend (and Lord and Savior),
Frank Cvetkovic

PS – And, for those of you who may ask, no, forming my own religion did not solve my personal problems.  But, I said to myself, who cares?  I’m a friggin’ deity!

So I tried sexting for the first time.  It was a pretty spur of the moment thing and I didn’t use any protection on my phone.  Now I’m terrified of the thought that I may have contracted a textually-transmitted disease.

What’s internet shorthand for “herpes”?  ROFLHRPS?
Frankie

Hey kids,

I was going to write up a quick post yesterday about how I had 67 hits on the blog on Thursday.  I was pretty excited, considering my highest count was 51 and my average is about *coughcough*11*cough*.

So, yeah, I was pretty excited about 67 hits.

Until yesterday, when I went from 11 hits to 60 in under an hour and ultimately reached 94 hits by night’s end!  Thanks a lot, kids!  I appreciate you guys reading!  (By the way, the six of you who didn’t check out the blog yesterday — and you know who you are — I blame you for not making it to 100 hits!)

Man, I should post “Skottie Rocket” previews everyday!
Frankie

…my handicapped aunt, who lived with him her entire life, moved into my parents house and my old bedroom.

So I guess that old adage is wrong.

Turns out you can go home again, it’s just that now you have to sleep on the couch.

Couch-surfin’,
Frankie

…I fall a little more in love with Michel Gondry.

Wish I could have made a film like this about my Pop Pop,
Frankie

Hey kids,

Recently, my artist on Punch-Up – The Amazing David Brame – teamed up for a side project we like to call Skottie Rocket, Gay Space Pirate.

After forcing several months work into just a few weeks, David and I have just finished the first Skottie Rocket story and sent it off to the printers.

We’ll be debuting the book at SPACE – the Small Press and Alternative Comic Expo – and selling copies at various comic book conventions and stores, but I’ll go into detail on that when the time comes.  We have been talking about the future of Skottie Rocket, over the past several days and – man! – are you kids in for some good shit!  But, again, that is a conversation for a different day.

For the moment, though, here’s a small taste of what the book is like.

(Written, lettered, and toned by me.  Pencil and inks by the Amazing David Brame.)

We’re pretty proud of it.  Hope you guys dig it, too.
-Frankie

….but I just realized that I need to start practicing my signature.

First of all, with two books coming out in the next month – and con season already started – I’m going to be signing A LOT of books soon.  Second, my name has, like, a brajillion letters in it.  And, third, my everyday signature is pretty shit.

Seriously.  It looks like what prescription pads would look like if they let chickens be doctors.

I’m open to suggestions.  Would you feel cheated if someone signed your book with just their first name and last initial?  Or just a scribble that looks like it might possibly could maybe sort of look like a name… if you squinted real hard… and maybe had a few drinks in ya?

I miss the days when you could just sign your name with an “X,”
Frankie

This is the man your man could be.

I’m on a horse.
Frankie

…is a lead editor and assistant project manager at a full- service video production house, called StoneKap.

Recently, Kev concepted and art directed — as well as doing most of the graphics — for a pretty cool new project that he considers to be one of the best pieces he’s ever done.

Check it out here.

Now to figure out some way to use his motion graphics powers to benefit my comic works…
-Frankie