So, weird dream last night.
When I was in high school – all throughout my school years, actually – I was a straight-A, advanced placement, never-missed-a-day-of-school-in-my-life, honor roll student. Now, I’m not bragging. I just want to preface the story by letting you all know how big of a nerd I was back in high school. Not that much has changed since, mind you.
Anyway, in my dream, I ended up dropping out of school in my junior year.
Jump to ten years later, present day, where I decide to go back to school and earn my diploma. Suddenly, I’m thrust back into a world of math and history, cliques and classes, jocks and cheerleaders, bullies and swirlies, crushes and the crushed, bad cafeteria food and paper football in study hall.
And, in the midst of all this, I realize a few things:
One: I am the oldest high school student ever. Half the people there think I’m a teacher, students and faculty alike. When they learn that I am actually a 2-year-old high school senior, I become the laughing stock of the school.
Two: Because of this, I am a complete outcast. A pariah. No one associates with me unless they’re making fun of me, teasing me, or beating me up. I’m the only 26-year-old man who’s ever got a swirly from a 14-year-old kid.
Three: In real life, by now, I know I’ve forgotten most of what I learned in high school. Can’t do trig. or calc. anymore. Forget most of my chemistry and science lessons. Honestly, who hasn’t? But here, in my dream, I forgot everything, if I ever learned it in the first place. I’m the dumbest I’ve ever been in my dream. I’m practically an invalid. Or a jock. Hell, I could barely string two sentences together for any sort of intelligent conversation.
Four: I realize that, as much as I hated high school in real life, the second time around was infinitely worse.
There may or may not have been more to the dream than that, I don’t really remember. I remember thinking about how much I never, ever wanted to go back to high school.
* * * * *
This morning, I woke up, ventured downstairs, booted up my computer and checked my email. I had several new messages. One of them was from Euclid Public Schools Alumni Association, informing me that my ten year high school reunion is coming up in less than a year and a half.